TV HELL

SO the next two episodes of The Bill are the last to be screened in the STV region.
Here's the column I wrote for yesterday's issue of The Guide/Edinburgh Evening News.

TV HELL

FOR more than a quarter of a century viewers have tuned in to watch the Sun Hill bobbies hit the blues and twos as they bring them their weekly dose of cops and robbers from the big smoke.

During that time characters have come and gone, three different locations have been used for the station and the series has gone from strength to strength, winning the 2008 Royal Television Society Awards for Best Continuing Drama and this year’s Inside Soap Award for Best Drama.

The Bill started life in 1983 as a one-off drama called Woodentops and became a series of post watershed one hour episodes the following year. Four years and three series later it became a half hour pre-watershed continuing drama. Later the episodes were restored to their original one hour length.

Later this month the series will come full circle when it returns to a 9pm slot for the first time in more than a decade, a move that will allow producers to bring back the gritty feel of the original episodes, which can only be a good thing... as long as you don’t live in the STV region.

STV has decided to opt out of the long-running series, so next week’s episodes will be the last Edinburgh fans of The Bill will get to see. Yes, as The Bill enters a new exciting, so STV have decided to axe it, a move that has been kept very low-key.

Commenting on the decision Rob Woodward, chief executive of STV said: “We’re taking greater control of our schedule and are absolutely committed to maintaining a healthy creative industry in Scotland by investing in new, high quality Scottish productions and creating a diverse schedule for viewers.”

If past experience of STV’s opt-out strategy is anything to go by we should all be worried. The most recent example being the introduction of South Park, a Channel 4 reject that was arguably past its sell by date after its first series way back in 1997, to schedules as something to champion! I can’t figure out what is particularly Scottish about it either as STV’s replacements for The Bill suggest we can expect a return to the old tartan/shorbread image enjoyed by the channel in the days of Garnock Way and Molly Wier.

Yes, instead of the award-winning drama you can now look forward to “a celeb-packed documentary series called Made In Scotland, examining the iconic symbols that give Scotland such strong visibility internationally”. Cue Carol Smillie, Lorraine Kelly and other ‘professional’ Scots no doubt – or am I just being cynical?

That will be followed by, “A visually stunning exploration of Scotland from the air entitled Scotland Revealed” – sound like a regional episode of BBC’s Coast.

Finally, there’s a “fascinating” series covering the stories of the thousands of Scots who fought against Franco in the Spanish Civil War, called believe it or not, The Scots Who Fought Franco”. That’ll be a mass ratings-winner!

It seems that STV bosses believe viewers want a diet of documentaries, soaps (we still have Corrie and Emmerdale) and cartoons, although it would surprise me if they also bring back Thingummyjig in the spirit of further exploring our culture and roots.

Of course, viewers can always vote with their feet. If enough do, advertisers won’t be far behind. If no-one is watching what’s the point of advertising.

There is some good news however, for Edinburgh’s fans of The Bill. The new episodes will be available to watch on the ITV website and on digital TV, just tune your digibox to ITV1 London or ITV1 Border.
In the meantime, make the most of next week’s explosive episodes.